yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
