i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
