Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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