dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it's like heaven, but drunker
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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