I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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