So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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