this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
