So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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