just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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