they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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