I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
