Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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