I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize