Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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