oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
