no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
