Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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