I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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