Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
