After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
