she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
