I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i think my cat just said my name.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
