it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
