Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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