the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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