i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
