Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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