we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
