I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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