she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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