Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
