That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
