I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
