i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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