What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
