This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
