I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
