I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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