I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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