You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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