So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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