just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
