She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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