I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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