Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize