What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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