You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
