I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
