hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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