All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
