I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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