All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
