i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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