You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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