did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
