Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
