You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
