My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
