We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
