I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
