I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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