why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
