Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
