HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
