At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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