i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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